Continuing in the same vein as my “How to Become More Successful With Women … Instantly!” post, I present my instant weight loss solution: clothing. By altering your appearance, you can shed ‘invisible pounds’ and look like you’ve been dieting, even when you haven’t.
So ditch those online pill merchants, flush those meal replacement shakes, grab yourself a tape measure and make yourself ten pounds lighter today!
Find out your vital statistics
The most important step of all is to measure yourself accurately. Get a friend to help you do the tricky stuff. Make sure you take details from all over your body; if you’re unsure as to what and where you should be taking your measurements from, take a look at the following websites:
“Fitted”, “Tailored” and “Slim”
These are your three favourite new words. You want to find garments that cinch at just the right places. Discard ‘regular’, ‘traditional’ and ‘loose’ styles in favour of a skin hugging, figure defining fit. You’ll find these cuts won’t leave sagging fabric around your frame; they should skim your silhouette, but not feel ‘tight’ in any way – if they do, check the sizing and start again.
Shop with your stats, not with your eyes
In other words, take items off the shelf that match the measurements you took earlier. Don’t talk yourself into buying a size bigger or smaller – ignore what you think you know and instead trust what your tape measure told you. Go into the changing rooms and try on any garments before purchasing; while I wouldn’t recommend trying on underwear (they might just throw you out the store for that), you should certainly test the rest.
Try on a range of garments
Take a look in the mirror and notice how different fits and fabrics affect how you look. Do skinny jeans make your legs look slimline, or do they pull so tight they cut off circulation to your knees? Is it a ‘fitted’ or a ‘slim’ shirt that gives you the defined figure you always dreamed of? Trial as many garments as possible.
Use some slimming ‘optical illusions’
Dump the wide spread collars and the horizontal stripes. Throw out the fussy patterns and ditch the double-breasted suits. Replace with more visually slimming alternatives, including double vented jackets and darker coloured garments.
Dump anything ‘chunky’ or ‘clompy’
Thick rubber soles, cable-knit sweaters and loose-fit jeans need to take a ride to your nearest recycling centre; these garments will only ever draw attention to your meaty areas and emphasise your trouble spots.
Don’t neglect hair!
Thick, full-bodied hair is something most men crave; but too much of it can appear just as bulky and overwhelming as a padded bomber jacket! Try to trim down your hair as much as possible. Keep the look clean and angular to add sharpness and definition; this, in turn, will give the appearance of a slimmer jaw-line and a trimmer neck.